Web of Wisdom
A reader's journey to the Light
Guest article by Aava Meriläinen
Foreword by Occult Mysteries
It gives us great pleasure to share another inspiring story of a reader's personal journey toward the One Light of Truth. The author's sincerity and warmth speak for themselves, and we greatly value such contributions, which make our website 'interactive' in the best and highest sense of the word. If Aava Meriläinen's thoughts touch your heart as deeply as they have touched ours, do please consider putting your pen to paper and sharing your story with our readers. Or send us your thoughts on any of our articles or books. Your own words may be just the catalyst someone needs to set their feet firmly on the path to the Light, and they will have you to thank for that blessing.
Our customary afterword has been adapted from The Golden Star by J Michaud PhD, Vision 9—Cosmic Consciousness—in which the author explains with great clarity and simplicity how we may learn to behold Truth in all its Divine Sublimity.
Where to begin? How to find the right words to convey my meaning? There is so much I want to say and say clearly, that it is not easy to put into writing, especially as English is not my first language.
I am deeply grateful for Occult Mysteries. The amount of information, the winding paths it leads you on, the humour and the seriousness, the additional reading recommendations and links, fill me with awe at the amount of loving work that has gone into creating and maintaining this beautiful web of wisdom which takes the reader to a new destination upon each visit. You have been instrumental in guiding me on my journey towards the Light, giving me such joy, peace and relief that I did not think was possible to find anywhere.
Encouraged by the others who have done so, I thought that I would also write a story about my journey and how I ended up on this website. Truly, it has been a fool's journey. Nonetheless, it was my journey in this life and I am thankful that at last I have found something that stands true and offers firmer ground to happiness instead of the fleeting moments of overexcited emotions that have coloured my past.
As a child, I was characterised as a joyful and observant girl. I was writing poems by the age of eight, happy in my own little world. Even so, I remember that from a very early age I felt as if I was looking at the world and all its wonders through a veil of obscurity that stopped me from comprehending the truth or seeing the bigger picture. I always felt with a certain amount of conviction that there must be something right in front of me—something truer, more precise—but my senses were just not enough to process that information.
Growing up, I felt a natural interest towards studying philosophy, religion and psychology. The joyful child of my early years was gone, but the frustrating veil remained. I was not able to break through and TRULY understand the meaning behind the words, concepts and ideas. My search did not reveal anything of real substance. My thoughts started to be a jumble and my faith started to waver.
As I grew older, I was looking for love and a sense of belonging. Both eluded me in every spiritual, intellectual and materialistic attempt. I always felt like an outsider. I felt stupid for not being able to accept any one school of thought or religion, hold down a relationship or truly succeed in my intellectual endeavours. After many unfruitful paths, I even tried to turn to blind faith; just believing without any kind of substantial result or experience. It will be obvious to you how that turned out. The words of Paracelsus the authors of Occult Mysteries quote on their website ring true to me now, but in those days, I did not even know how or where to look for them:
"God does not rejoice to see fools and simpletons, who are ready to believe anything, no matter how absurd it may be; neither does He desire that only one wise and learned man shall be in each country, and that other people should follow him blindly, as the sheep follow the ram; but we should all have our knowledge in God, and take it out of the Universal Fountain of Wisdom."
I doubt that I would have been able to understand the meaning even if I had come across such advice in those days. Looking back on all of the years of fruitless search, complete attachment to the material world, dogmatic behaviour, slavery to reactive feelings—oh, the drama! It feels sadly funny that I chose to use my time in such a way.
It wore me out both mentally and physically. Around my mid-thirties, after a series of failed relationships, ideological dead-ends and bouts of cynicism I stopped fighting. I felt that I had lived (failed?) enough and it was time to stop. I was not self-destructive, but I was so worn out, that I just shut myself off. I gave up, and my life became the repetitive and lonely day-to-day hustle and bustle of work. I was good at building my career—that at least was something I did succeed in! I am sure that there are many who would consider me a very successful person, but I felt like a total failure and an outsider. With every new 'success' I would feel an increased sense of dread and anxiety. The emptiness of that life was overwhelming.
But the need to search for truth never left me completely, the universal law of evolution is ever constant. I was just reading William Blake today, and in his excellent poem called Auguries of Innocence, there is a comforting message in the following verses:
"Every Night and every Morn
Some to Misery are Born
Every Morn and every Night
Some are Born to sweet delight
Some are Born to sweet delight
Some are Born to Endless Night.
We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light
God Appears and God is Light
To those poor Souls who dwell in Night
But does a Human Form Display
To those who Dwell in Realms of day."
To me these words give such comfort because the way I understand them is that no matter what your thoughts have been in the past, every moment presents an opportunity to evolve and thus proceed on your journey towards the Divine Light.
During those years of materialistic pursuits, the Light was always there even though I was blind to it. I did not have a Divine moment of enlightenment, a symbolic and meaningful dream or a transcendental experience during meditation. The change in my life had its start in a very mundane moment. On one of those nights when I was desperately trying to unwind after a long and stressful day at work, binging on Netflix, I googled 'occult studies' as they were repeatedly referred to in the show I was watching. I asked myself could there really be such a thing? If there were it seemed far too good to be true.
And what happened? I landed on the Occult Mysteries website and found a page outlining the online occult study course! Mind-blowing! I read on, and I can't quite explain it, but it immediately felt familiar. I felt a strong sense of hope—something I had not felt for a very long time.
It took me a while and quite some battles with myself in my material life before I was able to approach the subject wholeheartedly. But now that I have, the amount of relief is astonishing! It is as if I magically regained a purpose in life, found a light that shines on every day and a trust that it will be so for all tomorrows. The realisations that I have had in reading and re-reading the articles are just truly amazing!
I am deeply grateful for this source of wisdom and peace, and wish to once more to express a warm thank you from the very deepest part of my Self for restoring my faith by Light, Life and Love! I am also grateful to all the other readers who have taken the time to write their own stories. They are encouraging and I can relate to them. I hope that my story will raise a smile of recognition on another reader's face and in turn, encourage them to write their own tale.
The extent of my foolishness varies from one day to the next. But every time I come back to this website, I am restored and a sense of compassion, joy and peace fill my heart. I am looking forward to acquainting myself with the content I have not yet read, and am always looking forward to the new articles.
NOTE: The illustration accompanying this article is a watercolour by the English poet and artist William Blake entitled Jacob's Ladder completed in 1800. You can find a complete list of all the articles written by our contributors on our Readers' Comments page.
Article © Aava Meriläinen. Commentary © Copyright occult-mysteries.org.
All worldwide rights reserved. Published 12 April 2018.